Hello my pretty girl. I miss you very much.
From the moment I first clicked on your instagram, I was in awe of your beauty. Your beautiful brown eyes constantly draw me in, and leave me speechless. All of your features are so perfect, your lips naturally draw me in, and anytime we kiss, I’m left wishing for more. Your skin is so soft, (before you think it, not because you’re fat, and you are not!) I feel so so grateful to have been able to hold you, feel your warm touch and skin on mine. No matter how you would choose to style your hair, I’d always love observing the many twists and curls throughout it. I wish you didn’t feel so bad about the way you look, because you have and always will be the prettiest girl I know. You say you look like a bum, but I have never once looked at you and not been amazed. I love your beauty.
You have always been so kind. I love the way you spoke to me, and to so many others, at every turn you chose to be as kind and understanding as you could be. The way you would compliment my features and personality would make me feel so at home. I felt I was kind throughout our relationship, and tried to be the best I could, but you reciprocated, so well, and made it seem so effortless. I know I’ve said it before, but everyone in your life is so lucky to have you. Everyone around you truly does love you, and appreciates how kind you are. You are a superstar, a and your kindness and love never went unnoticed by me.
I am thankful you loved me. Even at times where I felt more than unworthy, you reminded my why you love me, and why I deserve your love. At the hardest moments and times in my life, you were by my side, holding me, talking it through with me. I’m so thankful for your willingness to love me, despite how flawed I was for what felt like the entire time of our relationship. Your persistence on loving and caring for me is part of the reason I don’t think I’ll ever move past you. You’re the girl who made hearing “I love you” feel like fireworks. It meant nothing else mattered, and nothing could stop you and me together. I could never love someone the way I love you, and I don’t think anyone could love me the way you did either. I will always hope you love me. Thank you for saying it to me when you left my car, it will always mean so much.
The way you are so willing to understand others, is so admirable. I am so grateful you loved me through all my flaws. I am so grateful to have you demonstrate time and time again, showing understanding for those who deserved it. You are like a judge in an unflawed courtroom. I will always trust your judgement, and back your decisions due to how understanding you are.
I love your way of holding not only holding yourself, but me, and so many others accountable. The way you can identify when something you did was wrong, apologize, and work on it, is very rare. Watching you hold Gabi and your other friends accountable for things such as keeping bad company is so awesome. You make me want to be better, to hold myself and others more accountable. The way you hold me accountable is great too, whether it was you telling me ignoring someone or something was inconsiderate, or me being lazy in a certain aspect, I am so grateful to have someone as accountable, and understanding as you.
I know I’ve said time and time again how much I appreciate your words and writing. To be honest, I feel ashamed even writing so much to you. You have such a deep understanding of language, and a vocabulary like no other. You say such nice things about people, in ways I sometimes can’t even comprehend. You may struggle expressing yourself emotionally, but when you do I don’t take it for granted. Not hearing from you, or being ignored is a pain I can’t explain. Your words are always so important to me, and that will never change.
It may be shallow to mention this now, but I am SO thankful for the gifts you’ve given me. I continue to smile, even if just for a moment looking at them now. From the fangdam keychain, to the multiple store displays, to my flowers that will never die. You give amazing gifts to all you know, and I’m so thankful to have been a recipient of so much from you, and I’ll always cherish them. I’m also very thankful for the gift of your time. I love doing anything with you, even it may not seem like it. A 40 minute drive? That blows. A 40 minute drive with you however, sounds like a perfect way to spend my day. You yourself are the biggest and best gift anyone could ask for.
Hearing you laugh, and laughing with you will always be one of my favorite things. Whether it's me who (occasionally) made you laugh, or a silly 67 reference, you would always burst into such a pure state of laughter. I watched the story of the guy drawing you and lovely, it felt like my heart being ripped out all over again, hearing you laugh. I love it so much. You’re so silly, and could light up a room with that laugh any day.
I do have to admit I didn’t know what charisma was until I met you. You often described me as charismatic, which I’m thankful for, and agree with. However, I think I can credit so much of what makes me charismatic, to being with you. When every one of your friends cites you as their favorite, and people naturally *want* to be around you, I think that speaks volumes, to your character, your care for others, and your charisma. I love that part of you, and I think there’s a reason you have 100 friends.
My favorite video is this.